Proud Doesn't Necessarily Mean Loud

I’m proud to be a police wife.

I’m proud of my husband for doing the job that he does, especially in today’s culture. I support our law enforcement and back the blue 100%.

But, you might not know that by just looking at me. I don’t often wear thin blue line apparel, and we don’t have big TBL stickers on our cars. There’s a patrol car parked in our driveway when my husband’s not working, but besides that, we don’t have anything outside or inside our home (besides in his office) that shows our blue support.

When we first became a blue family I was under the impression that I had to shout it from the rooftops. There are many wives and families out there who proudly declare their association with their officers with fun Facebook profile picture frames, social media posts, and adorable shirts. And I love that! I think our officers and their departments need all of the outward support that they can get, especially in a world that has seemed to have turned its back on its blue members.

However-if you’re not one of those people, don’t feel bad. I often struggle with feeling guilty for not being more open about our blue life. Yes, I post the occasional status or two on my personal page and have one TBL shirt, but generally we keep my officer’s profession pretty quiet. One of the main reasons I created my LEOW blog, ammo + grace, was to have an outlet where I could share my triumphs and struggles with other blue members who get it-and not have to worry about the ones who don’t.

And sometimes, I feel ashamed of that. I feel like I should be more open about what our life is like and what he does and how much I support that to everyone, not just my followers who are strictly police wives and police supporters.

But being proud doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be loud about it.

Because of my job (I’m a family therapist who works mainly with teenagers on probation) there’s often overlap between the kiddos my husband has arrested and the ones I see. The neighborhoods and apartment complexes I visit are the ones that regularly pop up on my husband’s call list when he’s working. Generally, the families I work with don’t have a positive view of law enforcement (whether that be patrol officers, their probation counselors, or the corrections officers in juvenile detention). Sometimes they’ve come to that conclusion fairly and sometimes they’re biased and without any reason. Whatever their reason might be for not liking law enforcement, it’s THEIR reason and not mine. It’s not my job to change their mind.

And so, typically, I keep my husband’s profession to myself.

There’s also people in our communities and on social media (oh, the Facebook trolls!) who hate our officers. They post horrendous things and negative statuses, commenting on posts with such vulgarity. That used to really bother me. And if I’m being honest, it still does, especially when it’s on articles that my mention our department or calls my husband was on.

But it’s not my job to change those people’s mind.

My job is to support my officer, 110%. My job is to be the safe place when he comes home from a particularly rough day. My job is to be a partner to talk things through with when he’s struggling.

Those other things? I don’t necessarily think they’re my job, but I do know that they give me added stress and guilt.

Whatever your view is on how publically you support our law enforcement, I support you! If you’re someone who wears LEOW sweatshirts and has a big blue stripe on their car, awesome! And if you’re someone who changes the subject when an acquaintance brings up what your spouse does for work, that’s awesome too!

Because as a fellow LEOW I know that you’re proud of your officer and the work that they and their brothers and sisters do. I know that you support the thin blue line, and I know that your heart breaks each time we lose a member of our blue community. I know that you have struggles with this life but you are there for your officer whenever he needs you.

And that, my friend, is enough. However you choose to show your support for our thin blue line family, you are rocking it, because you are a police wife!


ammo + grace